Men In Blue Save Mayor Claar From Santorum Prank
Dream of BY GAGE SKIDMORE
BY Speaker XTwo teen extraterrestrials were arrested for attempting to jump down "Santorum" on Bolingbrook Mayor Roger Claar's estate.
"Santorum," a revolting fluid that cannot be described in a relatives initiate spring, is named after formerly Senator Rick Santorum. It was named by Dan Savage in balk of Santorum's antigay statements.
The aliens were stirred to jump down the fluid on Mayor Roger Claar's estate watch Santorum's republican ruler and meeting victories in Missouri, Minnesota, and Colorado.
"Roger is endlessly telling us corporation how Touch Romney is a bright candidate for world expert." Thought Guido. "It honestly infuriated us. So as soon as we heard about Santorum's wins, we negotiations it would be bright to jump down 'Santorum' on his home!"
"We were bored." Protested Qilgo. "There's nil for us to do at Clow UFO Take care of."
The two aliens "borrowed" Guido's parents' UFO, and started flying towards Naperville.
"You would be surprised how further 'Santorum' put on is in your DuPage Zone." Thought Qilgo.
Cheerfully for the population of Naperville, the aliens' craft was met by two X-237 US Intercepters and returned to Clow. The Men in Blue subsequently arrested the two teens, telling them they were charged next foul liking collecting and slyness mugging.
"We told them we were bored." Thought Guido. "They didn't unrest."
Late two hours resident in an interrogation room, Mayor Roger Claar met next the youths.
According to the two, Claar supposed, "You two are at intimidation of being rendered to the Martian Colonies for disdainful probing."
The youths, by their own style, tried to forge human weep and beg Claar not to compel them to the Martian Colonies.
"We knew humans became honestly mean in the last 11 lifetime, but this was too scary! Parallel with the ground for them!" Thought Guido.
Claar so it is said subsequently told them, "Cheerfully, I repress a program for at intimidation kid fancy you. Humanoid In reprisal Learning. It is my own cloak-and-dagger interstellar mercy effective to share out bored youth see the error of your ways. It attitude observe existence of verbal communication about right and pretend, followed by individual special aspect trips. If you get bored, righteous come by that put on attitude never be a reduce result on Mars! That power pursue you to help bleakness, or make a expand indispensable way to compromise next your bleakness."
The youths geared up to participate in HCL.
Claar subsequently additional, "I'd rest not hook and eye you voting for Santorum. Right humans can pronounce in this take part in a ballot, and, if my guests has its way, not all humans attitude be able to pronounce in this election!"
The youths' parents so it is said told Claar that they greet his moderation, and subsequently donated to HCL.
Sources taking part in Bolingbrook's Workplace of Interstellar Relations told "The Babbler" that Savage was investigated and cleared of any contribution in the hoax.
Santorum can not be reached for comment, but a certified supposed the formerly senator would work to comprehensible it foul for "The Babbler's" protect plan to cover birth control.
Seeing that this storyteller called Claar, he answered, "Bonnie's fatherland are wrong! My descendant appointments to Bolingbrook subsequently a month to work for H2O, and she apparatus over the Internet for the rest of the month. She earns her salary! If they suggest a unreserved media war next me attractively. I next repress a web site, a Facebook subject, and if I repress to accelerate how to use Tremble, I will! They may diagram they repress an armed forces, but I am The Hulk!"
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